I don’t know if any (or many) of you watched The Real Housewives of New York last night, but it was pretty legendary. Was it as amazingly dark and fabulous as Scary Island aka Kelly Bensimone’s Break It Break It Break It Down (I’m typing that in Mariah voice btw)? No, girl, no.
However, it really was the first time that the veil of LuAnn’s deception was pulled off for all to see. I can’t even call her The Countess De Lesseps anymore. From henceforth, LuAnn shall be known as The Countess DeLeCEPTION. Her treachery was just that scan’lous.
I just have a few small points to make:
1. LUANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! OMG!!!! GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRL!! HOW COULD YOU DO JACQUES DIRRRRRRRRRRRRRTY LIKE THAT???!
2. “I never change (giggle)’-LuAnn DeLeCEPTION. If that’s true, that means that you totally cheated on your husband, which is totally fine by me since it seems like you guys had an open marriage, but that means that Ramona has been right about you this whole time; and that frankly frightens me. Get Right, Girl.
3. Okay, LuAnn, homeboy does NOT look like Johnny Depp that much. And are we really that into pirates anyway? “Oh this hot pirate wants to hook up with me, so I’ll just compromise my relationship and embarrass my boyfriend/myself on camera!” No.
4. People speak French (fronch), LuAnn. Did we really not consider the fact that Bravo wouldn’t translate that? Have we not been on this show for most our relevant life? You should have known better than that, Lu. Even though you claim nothing happened, why lie? And also what does “I never change (giggle)” mean exactly?
5. Just come clean. When you make a mistake-OWN IT. Don’t try to deceive. Just come clean, and move forward. I really don’t want to think of you as Countess DeLeCEPTION, but you haven’t come clean yet. Okay, I’m waiting for you. I still believe in you, LuAnn.